When I was a young adult, I had the deep desire to do something to my body.
I wanted to get a tattoo but I had already gone and done that at just the legal age of 18 and 2 weeks old (my mum was so proud – not) and I knew the regret of its permanency. Trust me it was bad… Oh so bad. I wanted it on my back but freaked out at the last minute and kept saying, “lower, lower, lower” to the tattooist until it reached my bum cheek. I should add it says “family” and when my dad was told of it he said, “so every time you wipe your bum you will think of us?” Yep. It was a doozy.
But I was feeling impulsive and too be honest, I had a huge hangover. I suppose it was a “I have a sore finger so let’s chop off my arm” type of situation. I had just enough sense that I knew another tattoo needed to be a little more thought out though and that this body addition needed to be somewhere I could hide under my clothes. So I decided to do something to my body that was equally ridiculous in this mind frame but less carry-it-around-forever-to-remind-myself-of-how-silly-I-can-be-sometimes. And let’s face it, I was being a clown and wanted a cheap laugh from friends so it had to be slightly amusing.
So, I got my nipple pierced.
Photo credit: iStock
It has been about 6 years now that I have had it and I haven’t lived to regret it one single bit. Until today.
It didn’t really hurt to get done. On the scale of sore period boobs to cracked nipples and mastitis, it was definitely hanging around the period and sore boobs end. Any mother that has had a hospital grade breast pump on her boob knows nipples can take a lot and are as close to flesh-made elastic as anywhere on the body will ever come. And daily, there is no pain. Ever. I honestly don’t remember I have it done most days. Until today.
It has also unintentionally provided me so well. I essentially had a slow tap and a fast tap when it came to breastfeeding. Like when you buy newborn bottles which have few holes and toddler bottles which have quite a lot, well I had those in breast form. I would see Liam doing the dishes and the baby would be straight on the slow boob. We had somewhere do be in 20minutes and they would change straight back over to the fast boob. I almost recommend getting it done! Almost. Until today.
Today I got my tiny bolt piercing caught on a tread in my shirt. I nearly cried for my own mum. It wasn’t nice. It didn’t rip skin but it wasn’t nice.
It reminded me of how crappy your boobs can feel when you have little humans hanging off them. I know there were moments where they felt great too like when they are full with milk, are pert and you feel a little bit hot about yourself. Not to mention the joy they bring both you and your baby when baby does that little milk-drunk smile. But then there are times that the little cheeky kid bites you or the mastitis goes all the way up into your arm pits or your nipples are red raw or the boob turns itself on and you are spraying milk all over the shower or leaking all over your top or squirting a person in a cafe when the baby suddenly pulls away (yes, that did happen) or your boobs are sucked so empty and your nipples seem to be looking at your toe nail polish.
And to be honest. I’m not sure if I am ready for all that again. I’m not sure if I will ever want to go through that again. Been there, done that. Loved it and hated it but it is a chapter in my life I think is coming to a close.
And that is where I think I am with my nipple ring. The timeliness of the first incident I have had with it also came on the same day that I received my reminder in the mail that I need to get my implanon put back in my arm.
This tiny little ring that very, very few ever knew about has made me ponder about the future of my body and even size of my family. Too put the implanon back in my arm or not? To take the ring out or our not? To me, the implanon can always be taken out if I change my mind but would I bother ever getting my nipple repierced if I wanted to breastfeed again like I did before? Probably not. One is clear to me (no more kids at this point in time thanks) and I think the other seems pointless to hold on to if it is going to hurt me, I am now a mother of 3 that needs to probably keep her boobs in her clothes a little more and my child suckling on my breast days are over. It is the end of an era.
Though there is part of me that delights at the imaginary scenario where I end up in an old folks home and a carer or nurse goes to wash my body and finds a tiny ring. It makes me smile to think of the absurdness and unexpectedness of this to them and the potential laugh that might provide them (there is a young, 20 year old clown still living inside of me.) But at this point I want to keep my nipples on my body and I know what will one day become a blob, is tattooed on my bum and will provide years of laughter.
I think it is time to “free the nipple” of it’s tiny little balls (and no chain.)
Do you have any impulsive tattoos and/or piercings?