Have you ever had a friendship that slowly faded away?
Maybe a close friendship or a whirlwind friendship where you couldn’t get enough of each other. A friendship that you even thought would last forever.
But the last time caught up and said goodbye, you didn’t realise that goodbye was a literal “goodbye forever.”
You parted ways, text each other, and then time passed.
And before you knew it, it was weeks since your last chat. All the promises of catching up never happened.
Initially you feel guilty that you haven’t seen them and anxious that they may think they’ve done something wrong.
Then more time passes.
And all the things you once enjoyed together and had in common are no longer there. (It doesn’t mean dramatic changes in personality but maybe changes in employment, location, kids or new found interests.)
Things happen in their life and you find out their news weeks later, if at all.
Your other friends stop asking you about them.
New friends don’t know about them.
Your kids start to forget them.
But then more time passes.
And you see them do things without you but you don’t feel jealous that you weren’t invited or that you’re missing out.
The anxiety and guilt you had that you weren’t putting enough into the friendship subsides as you realise they aren’t reaching out either.
You aren’t assigning blame to “where it went wrong” but accepting neither is to blame for taking different paths.
There’s no formal “break up.” No fight. No anger. Life has just gone too fast and before you know it you’re both living without each other.
And that feels weird because you still hold a fondness for them. It feels weird because you feel grateful for what you had, and what they did for you. And you still take joy in their success and happiness.
You dedicated whole chapters of your life to them. And you never know, they might renter your life story in later chapters to come. But currently the new chapters don’t have them in it, and it looks like they aren’t making it to the end of your story. However, they played a part in how your story unfolded. So for that, I believe we must be grateful.
They say true friendships don’t fade and are timeless; but those types of friendships are rare and to be cherished.
The reality is many friendships dwindle. Yet not everything has to end with bitterness and dislike. Not everything leaves you with scars or hurt.
Just because the light that shone bright on your friendship has dimmed, doesn’t mean the love and respect for each other has extinguished.