I really don’t think people who aren’t parents of multiples understand the dilemma us that are parents of multiples have dressing our kids. And particularly that of identical children or multiples of the same gender.
I know that before I became a twin mum I always said that “I would never dress my kids the same if I was to have twins.” It made me feel uncomfortable that nothing to them was unique and they had to share an identity or look.
When my girls came along, I did all I could to dress the girls differently. However, I found that I always had an outfit that I preferred over the other and that meant picking one child over the other.
I was coming up with “reasons” I gave one twin something over the other. I told myself so many times that Cheska has darker skin so looked better in bright colours while Delphi has more pale skin so was better in softer colours. I put outfits behind my back, swapped them around a few times and then gave them out that way. I gave the slightly smaller outfit to Cheska because she was born smaller (though then I started to worry Delphi would get the complex that she is the “bigger” twin! Argh!)
Suddenly I could see why it is much easier to dress them the same.
I realised that dressing the girls “same/same but not same” (as I call it) was the only answer I could come up with. Whereby, the girls would wear the same outfit but each was slightly different. It might be the colour or the animal on the top or it might be a yellow top with pink pants and pink top with yellow pants. You get my gist?
It didn’t totally resolve having to pick between them but it did make it easier. And I know they may still be like a matching set but I thought it was better than being the exact same.
I know it is unlikely that they will grow up and care as much as what I probably do. Heck, they might even grow up to be like the Sugar Sisters and want to wear the exact same outfit everyday even into their adulthood (which I wouldn’t be against as I would love them to love each other so much.)
I just hope they grow up to see that their mother saw them completely differently but with the exact same amount of love. Same/same but not same.
Here are some of my “same/same but not same” outfits for the girls: